I’ve felt really weird lately… it’s been a full year since I started the Appalachian Trail.
On YouTube and social media, I’m being bombarded with others who are starting the trail. Spotted one video where it was the girl’s second day and she was completely covered in snow. She seemed really down. I don’t blame her for the first few days. Hopefully she’s prepared.
Friends from the trail are experiencing similar feelings regarding their anniversaries. I’ve been seeing constant posts about how excited we are for the class of 2020.
It’s crazy that just last year, last night I was in a hotel in Atlanta unable to sleep out of nervousness and excitement. The next morning I was in complete despair as I thought my backpack was way too heavy. I listened to Streetlight Manifesto as I drove to Amicalola Falls State Park. I started the approach trail and immediately thought I was wrong when I saw a blue blaze and turned around in the first mile. I remember crossing a parking lot and some elementary school kids were clapping knowing the journey I was about to embark on. That was a crazy feeling. At that age, I didn’t know anything about the AT. It’s crazy to me that I overcame that early desire to quit and, in fact, after experiencing the desire to quit in Gatlinburg, didn’t really feel that way again for the remainder of the journey.
I miss the trail. I miss the simplistic life. I miss professionally chilling. I know I can’t complain being back. I took an early 6 month retirement.
I think about the trail quite often. I don’t know if I feel like a different person. I know I must have changed. I think I have more patience. I desire more simplicity despite reverting back to a life similar to pre-trail.
For 6 months, I didn’t have to care about my job; I had to care about climbing the next mountain.
For 6 months I was free from responsibility. The only difference between weekdays and weekends was the likelihood of receiving trail magic and as the months progressed, I didn’t look to trail magic as a driving factor on my trip. No work. No plans.
The best part of these past 6 months is getting to reconnect with my trail families
Sharktooth and I met up in Boston a few weeks ago. This upcoming weekend I’m meeting up with Cosmo, Starboi, Rocket, Plug, Shaggy, Airborne, and Which Way. We are doing trail magic in Georgia. We’re giving the class of 2020 a boost like how so many others have done in the past.
The best part is that Lilly is coming with me. She’s getting to be introduced to my friends and that makes me so happy.
Since being home I have done so much less than I thought I would. Post trail depression is real. You go from essentially having something to do every day to not doing much at all. You had an idea of what you were doing and you felt amazing at the end of the day while on the trail. I feel like every friend from the trail I’ve chatted with post trail has felt similarly. I think it’s why I look forward so much to this weekend.
Here are some post trail pictures that I’m really happy for.
It’s been nearly a year since I started the Appalachian Trail. It’s a weird time. Social media and forums are starting to post about the AT and starting. It takes me back to the excitement for the trail and the fear of the unknown.
Here’s a bit of reflection I’ve done over the past few months.
I started hiking a little after Lilly got me into camping. Will and I hiked a portion of the Buffalo River Trail (BRT) but only lasted ~8 miles before hitching a ride back to our cars. Then I attempted the Eagle Rock Loop (ERL) for a lone 29 mile hike. I lasted 1 mile before turning around. A year later, I completed that hike and went on to try the entire BRT. I lasted 18 miles on the BRT. Hiking for the past few years has been unsuccessful for myself. In fact, the only way I completed the ERL was convincing myself that hiking wasn’t about getting pictures or enjoying my time… it was about completing a journey. The trail. It’s going to be tough. It’s not going to be fun.
That’s the mindset I had for the Appalachian Trail. I started the Appalachian Trail realizing that the next 5 – 6 months would be absolutely miserable.
When I started the trek towards Katahdin, 2192 seemed like such a large number. It wasn’t an impossible task — people do this every year — but only slightly possible. I doubted myself a lot. In fact, within the first 500 feet I doubted myself. The approach trail for the AT is 8.8 miles long and it is blue-blazed while the AT is white-blazed. I saw the first blue blaze and thought to myself, “Crap… I already messed up.” I turned around and quickly thought about it realizing I was on the right path.
Springer Mountain – The first white blaze of the trail
“Am I prepared?” “Did I just throw away everything I’ve built in my life for a pipe dream?” “I should buy a boat!” “I could go home and enjoy my life for a little break before having to work again.” I especially felt this in the Smokies near Newfound Gap. The sheer fact that every day I was doing something that’s “tough and not fun” was bearing down on me more than my backpack. Finishing the trail seemed so far away. I was ready to quit.
I arrived at that shelter in near tears. I ended up having service at the shelter right before Newfound Gap and ended up calling Lilly. That shelter is where I met Sharktooth. Her and Lilly both helped keep me on the trail and I am so thankful that both of them did! Sharktooth, Turtle, Coyote, Snap, Turd all helped me change my mindset that the best part of my day was hiking. At the end of the day, I got to walk in the woods. I wasn’t at a desk. I wasn’t waiting for 5 PM. I had a normal pattern. I was away from social media. I had no societal pressures.
Turtle, Pup, Sharktooth, Coyote, myself at Trail Magic just under Max Patch. This was maybe one of the worst days I had on the trail.
I remember most days rather vividly even if not much happened. The views, the feelings, the smells… It all sits in my memory pretty well. It’s funny that reflecting on the trail now brings me tears but being on the trail at the beginning made me cry.
We had days on the trail that were absolutely miserable and those still feel better than days in society.
It was great to return home for a wedding to see family and friends but I quickly fell back into my routine. That was disheartening.
I met a group of people the day after I returned to the trail. The group I would end up hiking the remainder of the trail – even if that meant I didn’t really hike with them through Virginia and Pennsylvania.
On the trail, we felt like we owned the mountains. We professionally chilled. That was our job. Hang out. Enjoy the views. Own the mountain tops. Once this mentality struck, distance and the trail in general didn’t intimidate me anymore. Arguably the hardest part of the trail, the White Mountains in New Hampshire (but, I personally thought that Southern Maine was more difficult), were no longer a threat or intimidating; the White Mountains were an exciting challenge full of strenuous terrain but amazing rewards.
Returning home was great. I was back in my space. But things just felt off. I felt like I had gone through this amazingly life changing experience and, yet, everything and everyone around me stayed the same. That wasn’t the only issue, I also found that, while people listened to my stories of trail life or my comparisons of current situations to situations from the trail, ultimately no one cared and it was hard to relate. That was really painful.
A group of individuals hosted a large feast for hikers for trail magic. I was surprised that the day we made it to that road crossing/trail head was the day that the hiker feast was scheduled. We had seen signs for it up and down the trail for days (so that’s like 80-90 miles before the crossing). During that set of trail magic, one of the trail angels told us why they hosted this event every year. “Every year, thousands of hikers set out to do something extraordinary and only hundreds make it this far. And we are so proud that you pulled away from your regular life, put your life on pause, and have taken on this journey. We want you to know that you’re supported.” Maybe not a direct quote, but I specifically remember her saying that we were doing something extraordinary. Friends and family had made similar comments to which I just thought, “Geeze, I’m just walking in the woods.” Really, the hiking community pulls ourselves out of comfort and into a situation where everything is chore. Even drinking water became a chore.
I know not many people will read this. But I challenge everyone to find their Katahdin. What is a pipe dream for you? Something big. Something that pulls you out of your comfort zone. I never thought that I would do the AT prior to retirement.
After the Appalachian Trail, Will drove up to Maine to pick me up and drive me home. That was a super fun trip itself! First we dropped Lilly and Elizabeth off in Boston to fly home and stayed the night there. We then went to Portland, ME to see Starboi, PB, Plug, Rocket, and Flapjack one last time before saying goodbye for good.
Portland is a beautiful town. We went out to downtown and roamed the city. Felt like we were back in a trail town. Will and I went to a previous thru-hiker’s house to whom Anna had introduced me as I was preparing for the trail. Joe quickly helped me in my prep. He and his wife helped me with suggestions on the trail and words of encouragement. Again, thank you Joe for your help!
Will and I stayed two nights in the Whites. We should have hiked more but I was kind of hiked out… Plus the Whites are difficult hiking.
We stayed with Brenda for a night in DC and I got to see an old friend, Trey. It’s always good to catch up with him. We then went over to the Shenandoahs and camped out for a night. We had a pretty good hike with some nice waterfalls. Apparently there was a bear on the trail but some people ahead of us had scared the bear away.
I arrived home the day before Anna’s birthday party and surprised her. Hers and Amy’s reactions were well worth it!
I thought that this post would be a big post about reflection on the trail as a whole. I thought that I would talk about the lead up to the trail. But I hadn’t talked about summiting Katahdin yet. So reflection later.
I’ve delayed not because of busy-ness… but a lack of desire.
I had such a mixed bag of feelings when it comes to approaching Katahdin. I thought I would be happier being back in society. I was excited for the comforts of society. I was excited to complete this journey. I was excited to see Lilly and my family. When I started the trail, I don’t think I would have ever thought that I would be sad. But that’s my primary feeling. Even a almost two months completed, not a day goes by that I wish I was on the trail, with my friends, walking all day.
The lead up to Katahdin was insane. Maine is an amazingly beautiful state. It also proved to be one of the hardest sections of the trail. We were all warned about the difficulty of southern Maine. However, we also had just finished the Whites and that was a pain… so how hard could southern Maine be? It was difficult both mentally and physically as is most of the trail but at different level.
For a good week we woke up every morning to wet gear. It was like clockwork. Every morning around 4 – 5 AM, it rained. It stopped raining around 7 – 8 AM so we didn’t hike in the rain but all our gear was wet. Then we had steep mountain sides to climb, ledges to climb up and down, and we didn’t have great views most of the time like in the Whites. When we did, it was phenomenal but weather just wasn’t cooperating with us.
We stayed in Monson for a night at the hostel. In Monson, we stopped by the ATC to get information regarding Baxter State Park. That was weird… we haven’t really had to plan like we did for actually summitting. Baxter Peak, the highest point in Maine and the summit of Katahdin, has 4 trails that lead up to it. We had to figure out which trail to go down. Baxter is also heavily regulated due to the number of hikers they have daily. Since we were looking at Labor Day weekend, we knew it would be even busier than usual.
That night we went to a bar and had some live music. This was our last night with the whole tramily together. Plug and Cosmo were planning to summit on the 31st. I was planning for the 1st. Rocket, Flap Jack, and Starboi planned for sometime after the 1st. It was an emotional night.
The next day, Cosmo, Plug and myself entered the 100 Mile Wilderness.
The first time we saw Katahdin was in the 100 Mile Wilderness. The first 40ish miles of the wilderness is pretty tough with lots of high climbs followed by drops followed by climbs again. We (Plug, Cosmo, and I) were climbing the third mountain in a row (Gulf Hagas Mountain, Hay Mountain, White Cap Mountain). Cosmo made it up to the peak of White Cap first. Then I. Then Plug. Cosmo waited on us because we knew Katahdin was just around the corner.
I thought it would be emotional for me to see Katahdin so close but it didn’t spark any wild emotion.
Mount Katahdin from White Cap
We chugged along. The 100 Mile Wilderness took us 4 days with my longest day of the entire trip at 30 miles. The third day into the wilderness we did 27 miles. I definitely felt it as that was the longest day for me. We went through a lot of spots with mosquitos and got eaten pretty good even with Deet. Upon arriving at the lean-to, some women heading south were complaining about bugs and lack of bug spray. I offered my Benadryl spray to help them with any itching. They were extremely thankful! The next day was rough… Within the first 20 minutes of the day, I got stung by a bee(?), wasp(?), something on my ankle. It was crazy! I was hiking. I heard a buzzing. Then I felt stinging. It was absolutely perfect timing to give away that Benadryl spray – I hope you can sense the sarcasm. Then I fell like 2 or 3 times. It was a crazy rough day to do 30 miles.
I walked essentially up a stream going up a part of the trail to an area called “Rainbow Ledges.” It was from there, that I got a jaw dropping view of Katahdin that nearly sent me to tears. The craziest part… I was trying to complete the day so I could have easily missed the view!
View from Rainbow Ledges
It was getting late but I had to stop at the final lean-to for just a few minutes because I had to see the final entries in the trail log. Again, it teared me up. The reflections from people were astounding. I signed the log with the typical, “Spoons just passing through. This feels weird.” At this point, it’s getting dark but I had to keep going. This was the last night to see Cosmo and Plug as they were going to be at Abol Bridge (right before Baxter State Park) and headed into Baxter the next day.
I got to Abol Bridge late and, again, just… Katahdin was there in all its glory.
Katahdin at night from Abol Bridge. Blurry, I know. But still beautiful.
Cosmo and Plug left at 4 AM to head to The Birches in Baxter State Park. It’s a first come first served part of the park for Thru Hikers only. Baxter really creates a game theory situation. You want to be there first so everyone starts waking up and hiking early to get to the sign-up sheet when, in reality, we all could have just talked and figured out that there weren’t more than the 12 that were allotted going into The Birches at the time.
They woke me up, said their goodbyes, gave our hugs, and were off. I zeroed that day.
August 31 came and I went into The Birches. It was a beautiful 5-mile hike. I registered with the ranger and got my spot in one of the shelters (there were 2 four-person shelters). A group of us decided to leave the next morning at 3:30 AM trying to see a Katahdin sunrise. It was my first time to willingly night hike. What an awesome hike!
It was up Katahdin the whole time! There were points where we were going up hand over hand, actually climbing. The views were astonishing especially as the sun was coming up.
A guy I met at The Birches, Dishwater, and I made it up to Baxter Peak after sunrise but around 6:30 AM. The last mile was rough not because it was anything different from what we’ve been doing, but because we could see the peak. It was a really long mile. But we made it. We made it to Baxter Peak where we got to admire Maine and its glory. We got to touch the sign that we have seen so many others climb and take pictures with. At that point, we were no longer thru-hikers… we were 2,000 milers. A part of a small population. A part of the <1%.
I think it was the mix of emotions that almost made me feel emotionless. It was weird. I was so excited but so sad. In awe of the scenery but recognized this was the end of the journey. We had the perfect morning on Katahdin. No clouds. It was beautiful.
After an hour on Katahdin, Dishwater and I decided to climb down the hardest trail, Knife’s Edge. Again, it was an amazing hike. Being Labor Day weekend, there were several hikers going up the trail towards Baxter Peak. They were amazed that we had already gone up Katahdin and are already heading down. We had to let them know we broke the rules and climbed at night. The number of day hikers was one reason we decided to start at 3:30; we didn’t have to wait in line to take pictures on the sign which was a common occurrence for thru-hikers.
Dishwater and I got to the parking lot and waited for Lilly and gang (Will, Elizabeth (Lilly’s sister), DeAnna (Lilly’s friend), Anna, Carlos, Brenda, Aldo, Matthias) to come pick us up. Their arrival was really emotional. We stayed at a house in Bangor that Lilly found on Air B&B and had a great time just relaxing.
The photo album is going to be kind of a mixed bag of stuff as I added stuff from other albums. It’s probably out of order as well.
I haven’t really been Journaling like I had been. So I’ll go by towns:
First, Southern Maine has been rough. Really rugged terrain! And very short mileage. My strained chest has made every step, breath, laugh, cough, and sneeze hurt. The past 100 miles have been tough.
Now, Rangely. Fun town. We ended up sleeping at a park under benches in these little pavilions. We ended up getting rained on.
Stratton, we stayed at the Stratton Motel. Super nice manager who hung out with us and really enjoys the hiker community. I cut my toe open by not seeing a step to a restroom… Maine is trying to kill me.
We crossed the Kennebec River today via canoe. People die trying to ford the river! We’ve been chilling at Caratunk B&B. The terrain has calmed down heavily after the Bigalews. It’s been nice and I’ll have to make up a lot of mileage to make it to Katahdin by Labor Day weekend.
We have one town left, Monson, before the 100 Mile Wilderness then Baxter state park.
8/11 – We finished the day about 5 miles out of Maine. We have a climb tomorrow of Mt. Success. Then Maine.
Today we had some beautiful views. We also got to enjoy a lot of blueberries and raspberries! Nom!
Tomorrow we have the hardest mile of the trail, Mahoosuc Notch. I’m so stoked for this and hopefully will have lots of pictures. There are spots in the notch where there will be ice due to the sun never touching those spots! I am so excited to feel the differences in temperatures! I’m also excited for the strain and difficulty!
8/12 – We climbed Mount Success starting the day. It was a tough climb but we had such a good time getting to the top of success. Our next stop, Maine.
And we made it to Maine. About…. Half a mile in I was climbing down a ledge when I started sliding. Fell forward. Jaw right into a rock.
Busted open jaw. Throat feels like it was punched and is sore. I think I hyper extended my chest. It was rough but nothing I can do but keep moving. Took the remainder of the day extremely slow.
In one of the alpine bogs, I was walking around a big mud pit. I got to a rock, put my right foot up on it and my left onto the mud thinking it was fine.
Nope. My whole leg went into the mud! All I could do was laugh. Just a mess of a day.
I got to the shelter right before Mahoosuc notch and everyone else was chilling. It was getting late and we decided to stop and chill. Tomorrow we’ll tackle the notch. Apparently that single mile will take at least 90 minutes but it’s taken most two hours!
I’m still excited but now a bit nervous for my chest. We’ll see how it goes!
8/13 – Mahoosuc Notch was. Amazing. An hour and 26 minutes for the mile. It was like a jungle gym for adults! Then we climbed Mahoosuc Arm. It was basically straight up.
8/14 – We had a short 8 mile day. We are officially out of the AMC grounds. The AMC sucks worse than the government. I never thought I’d say that about any private entity. But. Got. Dang. They. Suck.
We went to human nature hostel and had an amazing sunset!
Only 250ish miles left. I. Am. So. Excited!
Starting to just note the dates rather than try to go with the yesterday’s and todays.
8/9 – We finished the presidentials yesterday and ended the day in Pinkham Notch. We went into Gorham NH for a resupply and got a hotel room. It was nice to just kick back and relax.
This morning started slow as we recovered from last night. We grabbed McDonald’s and a resupply and hitched back to the trail.
We climbed Wildcat Mountain today which was a tough but rewarding climb. That seems to be the common trend in the Whites.
It’s funny. I was extremely intimidated by the idea of the Whites, especially after NY. But they are doable and because expectations on mileage is lower, there’s no hurry to move on from the views. They’ve been thoroughly enjoyable!
8/10 – Today’s hike was okay. Pretty rough downhill today. There was a race on the trail and it was annoying constantly getting over for them.
8/10 – We had a 2 mile hike to hitch in town. We resupplied at the last Walmart near the trail! We’re doing another 11 miles and ending right before Maine!
8/6 – We started the day downhill going into a notch and hitching to a general store for resupply. Not a good experience. They weren’t hiker friendly at all and prices were super high. We got out of there as quickly as possible and moved on to start our climbs today.
We climbed Mount Webster and Mt Jackson. All views today were incredible. We had a dead on shot at the presidentials up to Washington.
We made it to a Hut and did a work for stay which includes dinner, breakfast, and allows us to sleep in the dining area floor.
The weather is going to be bad the next two days so we’re going 4 miles to the next Hut then zeroing to climb Washington on Friday. That’s assuming everything goes as planned.
We can’t hike Washington in storms because it’s a 12+ mile hike above tree line.
8/7 – We decided to go ahead and make it up to Mount Washington. It’s a beautiful mountain and a beautiful climb but it’s cloudy today d therefore not the best views. I think of it like the Empire State Building… It’s cool to be on it but the real picture to take is of the building. That’s kind of how I have to feel about this mountain.
We experienced some rain during the hike down but nothing big. I did find out that I left my pack cover at a hostel 40 miles back. Oopsies.
We were basically on rocks the entire climb down. It was tough and mentally tiring. We finally arrived at the Madison Springs Hut and got to do a work for stay.
The huts are nice but kind of weird. They are supported by the Appalachian Mountain Club and guests basically pay $150 a night per person for accommodations similar to a hostel. The first Hut we stayed out made us sit outside until everyone was done with dinner and breakfast before we could go in. The second one let us come in because of the nasty weather. The guests have been asking questions about the trail and the crew are super nice. However, I still feel almost… Second class or looked down on. Maybe it’s my smell!
This post is going to be oddly phrased. I’ve been writing over several days so “todays” and “yesterdays” are going to be off. Also, I seem to have service about a quarter of the time as my hiking mates. Assuming the older phone is the problem. :/
A few days ago, I was about a mile from the planned camping site and it just started pouring down rain. That’s the mountains I guess. I walked for about 20 minutes getting soaked and made it to a shelter where everyone was huddled up. The rain stopped about an hour later. Only 3 others stayed in the shelter so I called it a night and stayed in there as well.
The next day was beautiful! I caught up with the group at the summit of Smarts Mountain. We got an amazing view of the Whites as well as Vermont mountains from a fire tower on Smarts Mountain. My favorite part was all the wild blueberries along the way! So nom.
The next day we tackled Mount Moosilauke our first of the 4000+ foot mountains in New Hampshire. That sight was incredible! The climb down was right by a waterfall the whole time. It was really really steep and a slow descent. We continued on and went into Lincoln where we stayed at a donation-based hostel owned by a thru hiker, Chet. He’s a super nice guy!
We crossed 1800 miles meaning we have <400 miles to go!
Two days ago in the morning I got to hold a mammoth fibula or tibia. Then got back on the trail and hiked 8 miles. It’s a shorter day but that’s expected in this area. We have exactly 100 miles left of NH.
Yesterday we started some of the presidentials and climbed Lincoln and Lafayette yesterday. It was a tough climb but an amazing view from the top. We had 3 miles on the ridge above tree line. So. Amazing. Sunset was at 8:12 and I arrived at a stealth camp spot right at that time. It was a really cold night but thankful I was really comfortable.
Today (8/5) we climbed Mount Garfield. It’s been a hot day but nice with the elevation! Starboi was lying on rocks and said, “I can see why reptiles do this all day.” I can’t explain the beauty out here. Pictures do not do this justice. It’s so huge. Amazing. Majestic. Words can’t describe the beauty out here. I thought you could see forever in Texas because of how flat it was… But out here, you truly can see forever. I ended the day picking blueberries as I hiked to find a stealth campsite.
One thing that is annoying is being half way up a mountain and looking up to see you’re only half way up after climbing for an hour plus…. But the hard work is so. Freaking. Worth it.
I have a pet peeve on the trail. Dogs not being leashed. It’s a respect thing for hikers. It’s also a safety thing for the dogs… There was a woman at a hostel who told me about how her dog ran off out of sight; they expected that she was chasing a squirrel or chipmunk. After a few minutes they called out to the dog. No response. They then heard the poor pup squealing and screaming. The dog got her backpack caught on a log. As they approached, she was still squealing. They looked up and but a few feet away was a bear. They’re lucky they didn’t lose that dog that day and a leash could have prevented all of that from happening. A comment was made that they had hiked so many miles without a problem. I replied that it only takes that one mile to lose your dog… /rant
